The annoying drums
This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

When he gets there, he asks the manager, "Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep."

The manager says, "No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop."

"Why?"

"When drums stop...bass solo begins."

Q: What is the range of a tuba?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

Q: What's a tuba for?
A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.

Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who's driving?
A: The policeman

Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.

Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a "tuba glue."

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two flutes playing a unison.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?

Q - What is the difference between Mother & Wife?


A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U
Continue to do so

An interview with Bill Gates wife after honeymoon...

Host: So how was the honeymoon?

Wife: Know I know why they call it "MICRO" "SOFT"...

A man goes to the doctors.the doc checks him over and says"sorry mate,but u have,yellow 24,a nasty virus,so called as it turns your blood yellow and u have 24 hours to live. theres nothing i can do for you,just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth"so he trudges home to wifey and breaks the news.distaught she asks him to accompany her to bingo that night so he can experience her idea of night out,as he as never been before.he gets his 1st card and wins 4 corners-prize £350.and then gets a line and wins £200,he also calls for a full house and wins a grand.the national comes up and he wins a further £380.00.The bingo caller gets him on stage and says "son-i've never seen you in here before in my life,but you won 4 corners,any line.full house and the national-i've never met anyone so lucky"."LUCKY??"he screamed" lucky i'll have u know i've got yellow 24"."F**K ME"says the bingo caller"you've won the raffle as well"

HA ha ha, that is so funny.