Male Versus Female
Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: Women cook, men eat. Women clean, men get dirty. Women iron, men wrinkle.
Q: How are men like noodles?
A: They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: What is the best way to get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
A: When the power goes off.
Q: How are men like diplomas?
A: You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
Male Versus Female 2
An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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in case we don`t win the contest ... 1 $ ... 50 c ... something there 
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