At a Multination Company Rajat was the new employer. So the manager of the company was teaching him SWOT which is Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat. The manager asked for a practical example in his real life. Rajat said :

My strength is my wife
My weakness is the next door neighbor wife
My opportunity is when the husband of the wife is not in home
My threat is that when I am not in home.

I hope you understand. If not ask me.

"How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..? "


One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!


" Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih "


The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:


" Dear Marian


I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager "

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I wanna tell you one joke.
But before that i want you to laugh first.
If you do not laugh, so i don't wanna tell it.

If you wanna laugh, you must PM me first
Then you must prove it to me your laugh
But your laugh must got a few terms
You must past all that terms first

And the terms are all easy
whatever, you must pm me first

thank you for wasting your time reading this

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This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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John is so happy because today he got a great news. He received a nice present from one website that was not so popular, or maybe not popular at all. In an email that was sent to him said this;

"Congratulation!!! You're the winner, you received a package of computer viruses from us! I hope you'll enjoy with those viruses. The package that cost $100 is all yours now for FREE. And please forward this to everyone you know. "

Until now John is still laughing and showing that he is so happy. I don;t know until when John will stop laughing But the way he laugh is so weird

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* Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to someone else.

* Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you a share of the milk.

* Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

* Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

* Utilitarianism: You have two cows. A neighbor has none. The government makes you give your neighbor a cow, but the neighbor has to share some of his chickens with you.

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Something to laugh about to lighten our stress lives........... La ughter
> >is the best medicine.

> >**********
> >Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
> >"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
> >Wife replies," No, It means ,
> >"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

> >**********
> >Three Feelings:
> >What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
> >Stress is when wife is pregnant,
> >Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
> >Panic is when both are pregnant.

> >**********
> >Teacher: u know the importance of period?
> >Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got
> >heart attack & our driver ran away.

> >**********
> >Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
> >urs???
> >No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

> >**********
> >Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should
> >talk about sex.
> >Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
> >Mother Faints... --

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WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classified: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

" A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "

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AND NOW FOR THE FAVOURITE. JOKE OF THE DAY!!!


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up." *

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