Hmmmm...she is hot ...
like a hot chocolate... i'd screw her tonight...!


Meet me tonight..!!, private and confidential...


NEXT DAY....



Listen everyone..!! He's got a small dick..!!!

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.




Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 29?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek - further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a profitable opportunity



Lesson 3:
A sales rep, administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.



Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.



Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull, "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's smart to keep your mouth shut!

Taken from my university magazine

Strange Location Names
Big Bone Lick (Kentucky, US)
Cinaman's Knob (Australia)
Cockland (Ohio, US)
Condon (France)
Herpes Village (France)
Hicksville (New York, US)
Little Dix Village (West Indies)
Mount Buggery (Victoria, Australia)
Mount Titlis (Switzerland)
Muff (Northern Ireland)
Pennycomequick (Devon, UK)
cat Creek (Ireland)
Sexmoan (Luzon, Phillipines)
Slut (Sweden)
Twat Village (Orkney, Scotland)
Virginville (Pennsylvania, US)
spinning (Austria)
Wanker's Corner (Oregon, US)
Titty Ho (Northamptonshire, UK)
Bald Knob (Arkansas, US)
Mianus (Connecticut)

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After
almost 24 hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and decided to stop for a rest. They stopped at a nice hotel, but they only planned to sleep for 4 hours to get back on the road again.

When they checked out 4 hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.

The man exploded & demanded to know why the charge was so high.


Below is the interesting argument.

He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-size pool and a huge conference centre that were available for the husband and wife to use.



"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.



He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.



"The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies.



No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is not moved, & eventually the man gives up & agrees to pay. He writes a check & gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.



"But sir," he says,

"This check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "She was here, and you could have!"

Hehe, where you got this my fren?? I hope Bush will gonna see this

__________________
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