Thread: General Silliness

1) What has a head and a foot but no arms?
A bed! (submitted by Sierra Mae)


2) The turtle took two chocolates to Texas, to teach Thomas to tie his shoes. How many "Ts" in that?
There are 2 "Ts" in "THAT! (submitted by Alan)


3) What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
Coo-kies! (submitted by nerd)


4) Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?
Because they've got crummy legs! (submitted by Emily is da bomb diggitty)


5) Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming?
Because they take too long changing! (submitted by pokemon_master_99)


6) Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
He wanted a clean getaway! (submitted by Lauren 12)


7) What has 5 eyes, is blind, goes for miles, yet bumps into nothing?
The Mississippi River! (submitted by Ally Cat)


8) Whats the hardest part about sky diving?
The Ground! (submitted by Lauren D)


9) What gets wet the more you dry?
A towel! (submitted by Danny Alley)


10)What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you'll rise and shine! (submitted by Tru Playa)


11)How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
One! After that its not empty! (submitted by Heavens Angel_03)


12)What washes up on very small beaches?
Microwaves! (submitted by Leigh Teetzel)


13)Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week?
They only work on wick-ends! (submitted by Kayla)


14)What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV? (submitted by Janet S.)


15)What breaks when you say it?
Silence! (submitted by Dawn)


16)If Phil & Lil were a fruit, what kind would they be?
A pear (pair)! (submitted by Britt & Emily)


17)Why can't you starve in a desert?
Because of all the "sand which is" there! (submitted by Jessica Koehlitz)


18)What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?
A hole! (submitted by matt)


19)If a man falls into an outhouse hole, how long will he be in there?
It depends on how many moons he sees! (submitted by Taylor A.)


20)What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?
The road! (submitted by Moke)

Brand New Wilson K Factor KSix-One Tour 90 Tennis RacquetsTech Note:[K]arophite Black . [K]ompact CenterUnmatched [K]ontrol? and feel... period. Choice of the world's number one player, Roger Federer.The integration of [K]arophite Black? elevates the [K] Six.One Tour as the new benchmark of precision to take [K]ontrol to the next level.Features:Headsize: 90"Strung weight: 12.5 ozLength: 27.0"String pattern: 16 x 19Balance: 9 pts hlCross section: 17.0 mm flat beamGrip sizes: 2 ? 5

fgsdfgasdfvvbbsadfgfdgfhfdhsddsadqjgfdjjg

To be continued. free shipppingVêtement homme Ralph Lauren polo | lacoste polo shirts | Hommes Lacoste Polo Shirts | Femmes Lacoste Polo Shirts | Cheap lacoste polo shirtsLacoste Polo Shirts Hommes Lacoste Polo Shirts FemmesLacoste Polo ShirtsRalph Lauren polo Shirts

Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

I didn't get any money this time
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

You looked a lot like my wife
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

A neutron at a bar
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

I have a magical dancing duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

He is a very fast drinker
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."